Make Sports Better: Part II

Author: Action Steve
Bio: Jets fan, part-time superhero, likes Roger Federer, dislikes talking quietly

  1. Allow fans to set parts of season schedules—most fans know key rivalries and season dates, so taking a popular consensus vote on certain matchups would help retain fan interest
  2. Adopt a merit/character-based salary formula—not only should athletes be paid for their skills, but also by setting a positive example in the community. Could be sabermetric in style or function
  3. More interactive intermission events—thank fans for coming to events by initiating higher participation/higher stakes giveaways and entertainment. Could be achieved by small increase in ticket prices, i.e. $1 opens up at least $20,000 worth of prizes per night. Not many fans would be turned away by that slight a raise and the entertainment value more than makes up for it
  4. No timeouts in the last 2 minutes of any sport—no one likes to sit through endless commercials as the last minute of a basketball game turns into 15. This is what athletes get paid to practice for; let them show the world how they can handle the pressure
  5. Engage teams in league-wide viral media competitions—fans love seeing the goofier side of athletes, and I’m sure the athletes wouldn’t mind donating winnings to charity either
  6. Have interleague exhibitions—not just the AL and the NL, but the AFL and the CFL, the NBA and the ABA, the MLB and the Nippon League, etc. Shouldn’t be reserved for only the World Baseball Classic and the Olympics. Helps promote a global/rivalry-accentuated fan base.
  7. Periodic full league resets—every 25/40/50 years, draft EVERYONE again, auction style, with a salary cap. The owners can stay the same. Contracts can be negotiated. If you ask for too much, you might not find a home right away.
  8. When the technology develops, nano-player cams—everyone wants to see from the eyes of the athletes themselves, and when the cameras become small enough and not obstructive, it’s a go.
  9. Kill Bud Selig—this would solve so many problems. These include, but are not restricted to: rich/poor team inequalities, steroids, All-Star games ending in ties, etc.
  10. Expel poor-performing teams—if you have a record below .400 for 5 years in a row, your city loses its team and a new one starts in a predetermined next-best location. Expansion draft (and embarrassment) then follows.
  11. Institute a rotating “wildcard”—a la NBA JAM. For example, in basketball, make a specific hotspot count for 6 points one week, then have all turnovers lose 2 points the next week, etc. Could be applied to all sports. Everyone loves an x-factor.
  12. Schedule some games/matches at crazy hours—but you can only do this a few times a year to make it stay a novelty. You draw the real crazy diehards, the young folks, and the weirdos. At least two of these groups purchase most of the merchandise anyway.
  13. Make athletes play some games with one leg, or one arm, or other physical qualifiers—similar to the past two examples, but the more restrictions on the athletes, the more people would watch. But don’t do this in excess either.
  14. Establish weight and/or height classes for all sports that want them—not only does this diversify the athlete base, but there is SO much merchandise potential. Give the best less and the worst more. Parity is great.
  15. Make athletes try out for their teams every year—contracts should have no-guarantee clauses. You have to fight for your money, not get hurt for 5 years and earn $50 million too.
  16. Reward team accomplishments during the season—best midway record, longest winning streak, best in certain statistics, etc. I think the apathy some professional athletes show would disappear instantly.
  17. Make performance enhancing leagues—I know it’s been said before, but for the non-purists out there, make steroids ok in their own leagues. Bizarre body types and insane stats to follow.
  18. Lower concession prices—I don’t care how much money the owners lose, I’m not spending 15 dollars on a popcorn and soda that won’t last me half the match. And I bet I’m not the only one.
  19. Have bargaining agreements determined by popular voting—it’s obviously no fun when people can’t enjoy their sports, and athletes can’t get 27 pairs of sneakers a day because they’re not getting paid enough. Have non-athletes communicate their feelings with players unions and make it so looming strikes never have to happen.
  20. Lie about bargaining agreements—wait, doesn’t that contradict the last one? When the NFLPA says that they’re not going to take it anymore, you believe them right? And you get all riled up and football’s popularity rises exponentially? Well aren’t you going to be more interested when they finally pull a deal together at the last minute? Any publicity is good publicity, even the falsest of the false.

Make Sports Better: Part I

Author: Matty
Bio: Mets fan, excellent dancer, likes to travel, considering law school

  1. College football playoffs
  2. Sell day-of replay tv rights to baseball games
  3. Real halftime shows for all professional sporting events
  4. Seeding in playoffs: Top seed picks their first round opponent. Instead of organizing the first-round by seeds, match-ups are determined by selection. Seed 1 picks their opponent, then seed two, and so on. The Knicks would be much less complacent now [Editor’s Note: As of writing, in early 4/11. They suck anyway.]
  5. Universal Instant Replay: Like Tennis/Football. Every team gets ~3 challenges/half. Also, refs get free reign to use and are judged on accuracy with replay included
  6. Have “Adult ESPN,” tv/radio station where sports betting odds are analyzed
  7. NBA: Weekly good-faith league vote to retract technical fouls (2/3 to retract)
  8. NFL All-Star game: hold skills competitions (punt/pass/kick, running, passing accuracy)
  9. Global Heavyweight boxing tournament
  10. North American Soccer League—mix the US and Central America leagues
  11. Soccer: Allow one intentional offsides per game, as long as the coach is wearing the offsides hat. No fakes, and a 3 minute window of opportunity
  12. NFL: fix roughing the kicker/passer rules
  13. NFL: 15 seconds penalty-free celebration. For a 50+ yard play, 30+ seconds
  14. NASCAR: One race a year, put drivers in British cars and make them turn right
  15. The Michael Jordan rule: Teams must allow their players to pursue another professional sport for 2 years max if they so wish. Eligible years may or may not be negotiated into contract
  16. New York Jets addendum: Allow Sal Alosi wall, and rule manipulation. Don’t hate the player hate the game
  17. Goodwill award: For sports with a lottery, each professional sport who does the most significant public good gets a 1% chance increase in next year’s draft. Some ridiculous group can be the arbiter, like the UN or something
  18. NFL: If you go for a field goal before 4th down, you get to finish your set. You can’t kick again, and the ball is down at the spot of kick
  19. NFL: Mandatory 2 game medical suspension for concussions
  20. Combat sports: One global championship belt per weight-class. You can only refer to one person as “champion of the world”. Can still have more than 1 promotion, but they must be tiered.

    [Editor’s Note: Matty actually correctly followed my instructions for intended formatting. So while others spent time toiling away at long-form sentences, I’m going to allow Matty 5 bonus recommendations.]

  21. In response, unionize fighters
  22. Abolish cricket
  23. Focus/heart-rate meters: In individual sports (i.e. tennis/golf) show mental activity and heart rate for each contestant. Good use of one of 50 HD-screens
  24. Universal sports weekend: Players of each league vote for 3 representatives of their sport to the global contest. Showcases physical and mental abilities. WHAT SPORTS HAVE THE BEST ATHLETES?Clear 1 weekend for this every 2 years, and the competition can be over the internet.
  25. Soccer: If a player halts play for injury for over 20 seconds, they must take 5 minutes out of the game

Sports Week / Guest Week / Next week!

[Edit. It’ll actually be going for the next two weeks. Whoa.]

Next week (starting 5/2), we’re going to do something awesome. I’ve invited a bunch of my good pals to pitch in 20 sports ideas apiece, culminating in a MASSIVE list of ways we could make sports better. It turns out, I guess, the sports world could stand to be a much better place.

The entire list is now over 150 items long [Edit. Now we’ve hit 200.], so I figure we’ll split it up into easier chunks of one contributor per day, daily.

If you’d still like to contribute, get your junk into me by Thursday (4/28) or whatever.

For the cumulative list, check out the Make Sports Better category.

-J

The Claw! (Re: Immersion in Video Games)

I thought I’d draw your attention again to a recent, yet hall-of-fame-caliber post of mine: Immersion in Video Games, and add some evidence to further prove how right I am.

Allow me to introduce: The Claw.

In short: Typically used in Halo, The Claw is a different controller grip which brings your right index finger to the face of the controller instead of on the shoulder. Like so:

With the normal grip, your thumb tends to all six face buttons and the right joystick. With the Claw grip, you can operate the face buttons with your index finger, and devote your thumb’s undivided attention to the joystick. The goal, essentially, is to save the .00006 seconds it takes to move your thumb from the joystick to the B button to throw a grenade. And, if you can get good enough at it, it’s totally worth it.

But don’t take my word for it. The Claw grip was invented and is implemented by top-level Major League Gamer David Walsh, captain of Halo Team “Final Boss.” (And yes, Major League Gaming is in fact a real thing.)

Other known uses of the Claw.

A Guest Post Approaches!

[This is my blog’s first-ever guest post. And my mom wrote it. Enjoy!]

I know I’m supposed to write you something about being a better Mom in 10 (or so) easy steps, but I’ve been thinking about it, and realized that the concept of “better” Mom is very subjective. Personally, I think I’m the greatest Mom, b/c I ended up with three absolutely fabulous kids–bright, ambitious, loyal, considerate, adventurous, fun-loving, respectful and devoted to family. In other words, I think you’ve all grown to exemplify the values that I treasure the most–real mensches.

But it occurred to me that others might define “better” differently—frankly, none of you are super-star athletes, artists or musicians which (according to that new book Tiger Mom) makes me a failure for not forcing you guys to practice mercilessly at something. You guys are also not particularly strong at doing chores at home (my fault entirely b/c I took them all on for myself) but to lots of Moms that’s the essence of good child rearing. And who the heck am I anyway to be giving parenting advice to anyone other than my own immediate family????

So maybe what I can offer you, to do with as you wish, is some stuff that I’ve learned along the way–not necessarily about child rearing either. For example, I’ve recently learned:

How to Paint the Bathrooms in Your House and Only Come Close to Killing Yourself

1.  There’s a reason that you’re supposed to shut the electric current before changing light switches or fixtures: I got away with it the first time (just lucky, I guess) but got a big enough shock the second time to totally curl my hair (wait, my hair is already curly). A corollary to this premise is that sometimes other people do actually know what they’re talking about, and are worth listening to…but only sometimes.

ProTip: Find the main circuit breaker for the house. Ours in the basement, in an elecrical cabinet with about 30 other switches. It took some trial and error to find the right switch, but it paid off later in the time saved when actually doing the electrical work without fear of the (sometimes very painful) electric shock.

2.  Preparation is key to success. An hour spent preparing a room to resemble Dexter’s kill room is worth at least 3-4 hours later spent is cleaning up spilled spackle, paint drops and general sloppiness. I now finally get what all that studying was about in school–not to remember the subject matter, but to understand the concept that success comes from preparing, proven to a small degree by the Kaplan-type prep courses and to a lesser degree by the Zachary Petersel do it yourself version.

ProTip: This one is easy: Either watch an actual video demonstration on an episode of Dexter, or get a drop cloth (paint/hardware store) or enormous plastic trash bags and cover absolutely everything in the room that doesn’t move or can’t be replaced.

3.  Using the right tool makes all the difference in the world, or, as a surgeon might say, don’t use a hacksaw when a scalpel will do. This is the same philosophy that lies behind the famous expression “The pen is mightier than the sword.” In the context of construction and/or repairs, having the right tools (or power tools) clearly facilitates the job. But, even in the context of child-rearing, having and using the right tools (hugs, kisses, flattery and occasional bribery) is far and away more effective than the wrong tools (yelling, screaming, belittling, berating and the out and out ridiculous “I’ll give you something to cry about” smack-down).

ProTip: For most of the basic renovation stuff, the basic household tools will do: pencil, ruler, light weight hammer, flat head screwdriver, phillips head screwdriver and drill. It really helps if the screwdriver and drill are power tools with adjustable size bits (loser points for using a 1″ size drill bit to make a hole for a 1/2″ size screw, and vice versa). If working on more than one room at a time, it also helps tremendously to keep the tools in one place and, at my age in particular, to remember where that place is. I can’t tell you the amount of time I’ve wasted on Now where did I leave that ******* screwdriver this time????

Okay, that’s it for the moment. Better get back to work. G-d help me if I ever get a real job where the boss actually cares about what I’m really doing at the computer.

///

[If you want to say hi, leave your comments below and I’ll be sure that Mom gets the message.]

Starbucks

I’ve been reading a fair amount on Starbucks’ new logo identity commemorating their 40 years of business (See Brand New’s take here, and here).

The guys over there are exceedingly good at discussing the elements of branding. How this is an evolution, how there were extraneous elements, etc. Not to belittle those points—I’m just not good at talking about them, and besides, if you read the links above, I’ve got nothing to add to the discussion.

However, two points were gently mentioned and somewhat glazed over:

  1. The logo went from two colors to one.
  2. There’s no more text.

Okay, so there’s an upfront cost that signage on stores and stuff are going to have to be updated. That’s a given.

But here’s the big win: Think about how much easier and cheaper it’s going to be for Starbucks to print everything. From now on, every single cup that’s manufactured only needs one color of ink. (Coming from a guy whose business depends on printing, this is a huge deal.) And every single coffee bag, and every single tote bag, and every single one of those cardboard-ey things that they put around the cup so you don’t burn your hand. (Do those have a name? Is it a holder?) The store signage gets printed and updated once. The cups are manufactured millions (zillions?) of times.

Further, from now on, they don’t need separate print runs for Starbucks locations in other countries. Or at least (since a Google Image search for “German Starbucks Coffee” didn’t result in “Starbucks Kaffee” logos) the branding in every country around the globe will make sense and won’t be hindered by English letters.

A++ work.

Opt Outs

In the most recent issue of new St. Louis free mag, Town & Style:

What I read under the header “Distribution”:

We already assumed based on your home address from the list we purchased that you’d like this. If you don’t, too bad. You’re going to have to read this magazine, find small print, and then jump through hurdles to remove yourself from our circulation.

Probably wouldn’t bother me so much if there were options here. Nothing here says “If you like this, we’ll deliver it straight to your house!” That seems strange. Reeks of spam, and reeks of some crazy legal policy like “you’re allowed to send this stuff to folks without their consent, as long instructions to opt out appear somewhere.”

This makes me =(

relevant.

Make Food Better

I enjoy cooking. And I like food. These things are important to me; they ensure my survival while not breaking my budget.

While I’d like to be a better cook, I don’t profess (or aspire) to be a professional chef. Further, I don’t prescribe to the recipe method of teaching. That’s like learning Spanish by listening to a voice recording of “¿Donde esta la biblioteca?” over and over again.

Until I’ve got enough time to settle down and work on mastering my craft (and boy, oh, boy do I love having a lifetime subscription to rouxbe.com for just such an occasion), here’s what I want: MakeFoodBetter.com. (Go Daddy is currently parking on the domain.)

Here’s how it works: Short, simple blog posts that can be read in two minutes or less. Each post concerns one food I already make: Steak, Chicken, Eggs, Rice, whatever. And each post follows the same format:

  1. You already make steak. Good! Red meat is high in protein, and a good way to impress a date.
  2. Next time, before your steak hits the grill, try sprinkling salt & pepper on both sides.
  3. This brings out more of the natural flavor of the steak, and makes it juicier and tastier. Don’t worry too much about the salt affecting your diet; much of it boils off during cooking.

Or even:

  1. You already make steak. Good! Red meat is high in protein, and a good way to impress a date.
  2. Next time you’re steak shopping in the supermarket, pick out the piece that has the most marbling.
  3. During the cooking process, this will make your steak much more rich in flavor. Many people confuse this for making the steak fattier. This is not correct.

That’s it. Easy steps to follow (with a little more detail; again, I’m no professional), remember, save for later. And apply across the board: Hmm, if sprinkling salt & pepper on both sides of my steak makes it cook better, perhaps I’ll try this with my chicken, too.

You won’t find any recipes here. Use whatever ones you want (Mom’s family secret is always better, anyway)—your skills will probably check out. And just like that, you’re a better chef.

Immersion in Video Games

“Immersion” is a funny word that gets thrown around a lot in the modern video game industry. Somewhere along the lines, some fools in the development team got it in their rotten minds that immersive gameplay equated to motion-control gameplay. Which first resulted in the Nintendo Wii, and subsequently led to the Playstation Move, Xbox 360 Kinect, and Nintendo Wii Plus all vying for the title of having the best controls.

And they’re all wrong.

Okay, I get it. Immersion is a very sexy concept. I’ve had more than my fair share of bouts with the whole “immersion” thing in the movie realm. Dictionary.com calls immersion “a baptism in which the whole body is submerged in the water.” That’s not the best definition. Being truly immersed in a game—movie, book, anything—means I’ve lost any active recognition of the medium. I’m just there.

I can see the sketchboard appeal in motion gaming. From a 3rd person point of view, it looks more immersive. The developer thinks, This looks more like the player’s swinging a tennis racket, therefore it must feel more like swinging a tennis racket. But when push (literally!) comes to shove, no motion gaming system amounts to much more than an exhaustive effort in random flailing. If I’m swinging wildly hoping for my controller to effectively communicate, immersion is lost. Or if swooping my arm a little too high results in my forehand not registering, and I’ve got to consciously monitor the swoop, pitch, and speed of my input, then immersion is lost, too. If I’m breaking a sweat in anything but an exercise game (and only then, because I’m running in place, not because I’m attempting (and failing) to communicate accurately with the receptor), then the system is broken, not enhanced.

Finding true immersion ought to be easy enough: simply follow the path of least resistance—whatever results in gameplay that’s as quick and accurate as possible.

At any point during gameplay, there’s a three-party transaction going on between my brain (who says to the controller “I need to wallop that fellow over there with a hammer”), the controller (who says to the console “input these complicated commands and algorithms per my instructions (which, presumably, it’s correctly received) from that guy’s brain”), and the console (who makes the blob on the TV screen swing his hammer per the controller’s instructions (which, presumably, it too has correctly received)). Motion gameplay subjects all three parties to lag (I’ve got to swing my arm instead of pressing the A-button) and error (the controller brain wonders, “did he swing overhand for a hammer smash, or jab forward for a rocket punch?”)

Consequently, in my opinion, the medium of least resistance is actually the much-scoffed and often-maligned…Nintendo GameCube controller.

Purple was always for sissies, though.

Feast your eyes on the most immersive video game controller in history. Surprised?

The GameCube suffered and ultimately failed because (no duh, haven’t you been reading the rest of my crap?) of a marketing problem. The controller and system itself were widely panned by critics. Why? Because everything on the controller is small. The D-Pad (the grey “+” looking thing on the left side) is small. The yellow C-stick has a small top and became disaffectionately referred to as a “nub.” The controller itself was slightly smaller than its Sony and Microsoft counterparts. Core gamers (male, 14-25, ish) like things that are big—a projection of their genitalia, naturally—and don’t typically take to things that are purple.

Problem is, the size of the controller was never properly explained as an attribute—nay, an asset—of the controller. A small controller minimizes finger movement and exhaustion, and close buttons minimize the amount of time fumbling needed to try to find the one you’re hoping to press. Because the D-pad is small, you don’t need to press Up, Down, Left, or Right individually, you can simply rest your thumb in the middle and tilt. By making the C-stick “nub” shaped instead of full-size, it could be moved closer to the ABXY buttons and minimize accidental presses. B, A, X, and Y are all different shapes—small, big, tall, and flat, respectively—so you’d never confuse pressing one for the other. There’s an obvious and comfortable resting position for your right thumb on A, the most important button. Other controllers (like the PlayStation controller, here) have a diamond-shaped button pattern. Aesthetically, this makes sense. Logistically, this means your thumb probably rests on the X button, and you’ve got to reach all the way up to hit Triangle. Sounds totally silly even as I’m typing it. But on a mass-production scale, even the centimeter difference we’re discussing here needs to be considered.

Granted, the controller wasn’t perfect. In the modern generation, it’d need to be wireless and rechargeable, and it’d need a “Home” button to quickly navigate to a menu screen. There was no Z-button on the top-left of the controller to match the one on the top-right. You couldn’t press the Joystick or C-stick in to use as additional buttons. And the thing is still purple.

An aside totally worth mentioning: The GameCube similarly suffered from a second size-related issue that should have been an asset: Game discs themselves were tiny. The natural assumption is that smaller discs = less powerful, worse graphics, smaller. The actual reason? Games load faster. Shorter and less frequent loading screens, greater sense of immersion.

A second aside: Many avid gamers cite the PlayStation Dualshock (again) as their controller of choice. Strange, because it’s by far the blockiest, least comfortable, and worst-designed (the left joystick—the input used most frequently—is placed awkwardly low to be held comfortably) controller of the current generation. And yet, it may be justifiably considered the most immersive controller of the lot, for the simple and intuitive reason that Sony has been using the same style controller for nearly fourteen years (November 1997), and avid gamers have long since grown accustomed to and fluid in its (albeit flawed) layout.

The conclusion: The GameCube was a flop. The GameCube controller, a flop merely by association. Negative buzz spread about the console (the word “kiddy” made rounds frequently), developers opted to make games on the Sony PlayStation and Microsoft Xbox instead of for Nintendo, which lead to more negative buzz hitting the airwaves, ad infinitum. It sold the worst of the three video game consoles of its generation. Its flaws will go down in history in much larger print than its successes, which, in light of the motion-gaming revolution currently underway, will probably be ultimately lost to obscurity entirely. What a shame.

But from a production and immersion standpoint that will never be heard from again in the history of the universe, what a shining (and surprising) success.

Followups: 3D and CollegeHumor

Two things that I nailed perfectly:

  1. Here is me explaining why 3D is the most miserable experience in the movie universe, and here is Roger Ebert adding science and explaining why 3D will never work, period.
  2. Here is me observing that CollegeHumor is rapidly outgrowing its moniker, and here is Sam Reich, one of the highest ranking officers in the CH food chain, commenting and confirming the fact.

I love always being right.