My 10 Favorite Movies on TV [Things I Like]

This is kind of a difficult idea to convey, especially when I’m constrained by title.  Most accurately, these are my 10 favorite movies that I’d cancel whatever plans I had for the day if I chanced upon them while channel surfing.  You know these movies.  The kind of flick when no matter what you’ve got planned to do in the next hour and a half, it gets put on hold to watch.  Like maybe you’ve got plans to go to your friend Matty’s house in 20 minutes and want to burn some time; you’ve already seen those highlights on Sportscenter like a hundred times so you scan through whatever else is on and OH GOD, I guess I’m going to be late to Matty’s.  …Like a day late.

It’s the kind of movie that doesn’t necessarily require you to be in a certain kind of mindset.  The Matrix is an awesome movie, but maybe you’re not in the mood for that kind of an adrenaline rush right now.  It’s also the kind of movie you can watch time and time and time again, even though at this point you pretty much know the plot development better than the director does.  In special instances, this might even enhance your enjoyment of the movie.

When I start a TV channel of my own, I’m just going to round up a massive list of these movies and play them all the time.  The channel would be called “Guess I’m Not Going Out this Weekend,” or GINGOW.  Still has a better ring to it than the Versus Network, no?

Here’s my top 10 movies that I will absolutely stop everything to watch:

10. Galaxy Quest

Never Give Up, Never Surrender.

“Never Give Up, Never Surrender.”

This movie should have been terrible.  It had all the ingredients, specifically: Tim Allen.  But somehow, it works. Pre-Snape Alan Rickman is delightfully antagonistic.  The film has just the right amount of taking itself seriously and poking fun at Star Trek and other bad TV, which is appropriate because the plot of the film is about actors who find that, all of a sudden, they have to take their Star Trek-esque bad TV show very seriously.

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My 10 Favorite Video Games [Things I Like]

I had a debate with Matty the other day over our favorite all-time video games. So I thought I’d make a Top 10 list for safe-keeping.

10. Gauntlet: Dark Legacy

Gauntlet never got rave reviews because the combat is kind of repetitive.  The thing is, Gauntlet is all about how you’re playing and who you’re playing with.  95% of the fun for me was having Aaron and Peter come over to play, fighting over kills and items, and eating Tombstone pizzas.  The game also spawned the ridiculously quotable “Red Warrior needs food badly,” which is probably the runner-up best video game quote to “Do a Barrel Roll.”

9. Mario Kart 64 / Diddy Kong Racing

My first Nintendo 64 game, and as such, the 64 game I played the most.  The most redeeming factors include Wario Stadium, Block Fort, triple red shells, and Toad and Wario screaming uncontrollably.  I’ve beaten friends in races while holding the controller upside down.  I’ve also got an uncanny ability for pulling Lightnings out of item boxes.  The sequel on Gamecube didn’t have the same magic.

Monkey Universe

So the thing is, Diddy Kong Racing is a better game.  There’s a whole entire Adventure mode, you have options to be a plane or hover craft instead of a kart, and there are more levels.  People in the know pick DKR over Mario Kart.  But since there’s such a greater MK community, it had to be mentioned.

Diddy Kong Racing also has the magic video game element of nothing really making any sense.  This giant pig guy wants to take over the world or something, so he challenges Diddy and his friends to race in circles around designated areas.  Fly faster than him at the end of the game and he will go home and not bother you anymore.  Plus, check out the awesomely-photoshopped fire-tree that the pig is holding.  Fire trees are an exclusive feature of good games, it’s in the textbook.

8. NHL Hitz 2003

Midway’s NFL Blitz series was groundbreaking.  Later, they made spinoffs to Baseball, Soccer, and Hockey.  But because nobody cares about hockey, this game largely flopped.

NHL Hitz (the 2002 version) was my first Gamecube game.  This one added a whole entire adventure mode too, with custom teams and characters and all that geeky stuff.  More importantly, never have I experienced a more frighteningly frustrating and agonizing game, because Zach ALWAYS beat me.  We don’t fight normally, but when HITZ is out, the pixel characters weren’t the only ones throwing body checks at eachother.

Also, I got to use the Ottawa Senators, who at the time had both of my favorite all-time hockey players:  Zdeno Chara and Dominik Hasek.  Yay.

7. Chrono Cross

An Orchestrated Masterpiece

An Orchestrated Masterpiece

Chrono Cross is the only game on my list that I’ve only played through once.  But it’s entirely perfect.  Especially the music.  The same way Katamari Damacy was amazing because of the soundtrack, only Chrono Cross was just on an entirely different level.  I’ve even heard that parts of the game change entirely if you go back and re-play.  Words do not do justice.  Besides “Fecal Cats.”  The fighting system is entirely unique and amazing, and even though it’s an epic RPG you don’t really ever need to run around on “Collect 100 gemfarts” missions, or go kill bunnies for two hours just to level up.

6. Pokemon Pinball

One of a number of fantastic games that are inappropriately marked as spam because they say “Pokemon” in the title (see: Pokemon Snap, Pokemon Puzzle League).  This is the absolute perfect game to leave next to the toilet for when you get back to your room after eating a Breakfast Burrito with extra steak and hot sauce.

It’s a shame there aren’t many more quality pinball spinoffs besides this one and Sonic Spinball.

5. Super Smash Bros (N64/GC)

Zap! Biff!

Zap! Biff!

Reasonably fair to say I’ve logged more hours into Smash than any other game.  Something about beating the hell out of cuddly things is oddly appealing to me.  My friends at home are more of a Gamecube crowd, and my friends at school are more of a 64 crowd, so I’m very attached to both.  Also, Jigglypuff is not pathetic.  Also, this game introduced the Falcon Punch.  I mean, COME ON.

4. Mario RPG (Series)

My first RPG ever.  And also I love Mario stuff.  And also you get to play as Bowser and Geno.  And the music.  And the Lazy Shell.  Mario RPG also introduced the world to timed attacks, which was amazing in-game but ultimately left me disappointed in just about every other RPG combat system I’ve tried.  There are so many good things about this game, it’s absurd.

Later on, Nintendo made other Mario RPG games:  Paper Mario (64), Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (GC), Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (GBA), Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time(DS).  All of them are equally amazing, but the original is definitely the best.  People have been clamoring to see Geno in a new game for over 10 years now, for good reason.

3. TMNT IV: Turtles in Time / Power Rangers: The Movie: The Game

For whatever reason, every person I’ve ever spoken two who owned a Super Nintendo also owned this game.  It’s legendary.  I’ve beaten it more times than any other game, by a landslide (it’s probably like an hour long, but still).  I used Alleycat Blues as my ringtone for a while.  Every other side-scrolling beat-em-up is wayyyyy below par compared to TMNTIV:TiT, period.  Everything is incredibly well-done.

By the way, Donatello is the best.  No arguments.

Tommyyyy

Go Go Power Rangers

This game has 8-years-old birthday party sleepovers written all over it.  I distinctly remember staying up past 3:00 or 4:00 in the morning playing this game with my friends, back in the day when staying up past 9:00 was risky business.  The ironic thing is, I *never* beat the game until the night before I left for Freshman year of college, when I sat down with my brother and just said “okay, we have to do this.”  Turtles is better, but Power Rangers holds an equally-esteemed place in my heart.

Hey, remember when TV and movie tie-in games were actually pretty good?

2. NBA Hangtime

What was he thinking?

What was he thinking?

There is never a bad time for a game of NBA Hangtime.  Hangtime is almost a religion, with Dikembe Mutumbo its diety (Dietkembe?).  There be no joy in video games quite like scoring 35 points in the first quarter and fighting Midway’s famous rubber-band AI to keep the lead.  Or going on fire.  Or TEAM FIRE.

Also, the custom characters are absolutely brilliant.  Where else do you find a 7-foot, 130 lb Grandpa who drains threes like Marv Albert’s calling the game?

A tip for beginners: Vin Baker, for reasons beyond my comprehension, is the absolute best player in the game. Don’t question it, just accept it for what it is.

1. Super Mario World

This list wouldn’t have been possible without Super Mario World.  It was my first game, and affected me so profoundly that I became a lifetime addict to all things video games.  I even use the game to chart my progression as a gamer and a child to adult.  For example, I remember first getting the game and not being able to beat the third level, but my dad managed to get all the way through the first castle.  I remember maybe a year or so later that my cousin Eric showed me how to get to Star Road.  I remember having a players guide that had printed out layouts of all the levels.  I remember having a Game Genie and using cheat codes that made mario jump the entire height of the screen.  I remember how goddamn frustrating the Tubular level was (and still is) when I first uncovered it.  I remember when I finally managed to get the timing down properly on flying with Mario’s cape (which, by the way, is the most ridiculous flying concept ever).  I remember beating Bowser for the first time. Damn.

I’ve bought a copy of the game in every encarnation I’ve seen.  I own it for Game Boy, bought it on Day 1 for Wii Virtual console, and the original SNES cartridge still sits proudly with the system in the computer room (formerly the video game room, before the internet was kind of a deal) at home.  It’s too good.

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Other considerations: Tecmo Super Bowl, SSX3, Super Mario Sunshine, Mario Galaxy, Roller Coaster Tycoon, Curse of Monkey Island

Auspiciously absent: The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, Goldeneye 007, Mario 64

Recommendations:

A number of these games I’ve ranked highly because of their sentimental value to me.  If you’re looking to pick up something fantastic, and assuming you’ve only got the latest videogame technology available, here’s what I’d recommend:

  1. Chrono Cross (PS)
  2. Super Smash Bros (GC)
  3. Super Mario World (Wii Virtual Console)
  4. Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door (GC)
  5. Resident Evil 4 (GC/Wii/PS2)
  6. Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)
  7. Super Mario Sunshine (GC)
  8. Paper Mario (Wii Virtual Console)
  9. Donkey Kong Country 2 (Wii Virtual Console)
  10. Mike Tyson’s Punchout (Wii Virtual Console)