Fwd: New! HARVARD 100% COTTON SWEATERS AND VESTS

By JoshPetersel in Josh for Business, Words 0 Comment

I thought you guys who read me on the internet should see this. The offending email first, followed by my response. (Thanks, Manu, for the tip.)

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: store@thecoop.com <mailer@thecoop.com>
Date: Wed, Aug 21, 2013 at 3:40 PM
Subject: New! HARVARD 100% COTTON SWEATERS AND VESTS
To: m******@gmail.com

coop email

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Josh Petersel <peterselj@gmail.com>
Date: Thu, Aug 22, 2013 at 3:18 PM
Subject: Re: New! HARVARD 100% COTTON SWEATERS AND VESTS
To: Manu Lakkur <m******@gmail.com>

There’s a lot to love here.

  1. It’s 2013 and somehow it’s still going to take 7-10 days to deliver something
  2. I definitely wouldn’t consider late August to be “just in time” for cool autumn. Though then again, shipping is going to take 12-64 weeks so maybe this part is okay
  3. AWWWWWW YEAH ALL CAPS
  4. I especially like that the email header just bucks all norms and has “New!” in normal caps and the rest in ALL CAPS
  5. I’m counting 8 different caps/boldness/font size/color treatments here. (By line, 1: red caps, 2: all caps, 3: normal, 4-6: bold caps, 9: bold normal, 10 and 12: normal in smaller font, 11: Every Word Caps, 13: all-hyperlink)
  6. “Buy one get one 20% off” is pretty much the most worthless sale initiative ever
  7. They mention a 10% discount that’s not valid with other offers or discounts. Meanwhile, the whole point of the email is there’s this other new offer or discount
  8. These pictures are doing a really awesome job of letting me see how the sweaters look with a harvard logo that’s like three pixels wide. After browsing a bit, this is the biggest image I could find for the red vest. I have no idea what that logo could say
  9. It’s absolutely not clear how to order online. In fact, the only instructions they give for ordering are to call a phone number…which they say just a few lines after saying “Online purchases only”
  10. What the hell could I possibly want to inquire via fax? Who talks like this?
  11. But still, after all that. My favorite thing, without a doubt, is #HASHTAG #discountcode. (Speaking of which, I wouldn’t be surprised if the code was supposed to be #SWEAT20 instead of #SWEAT 20 and they screwed up here, too.)

Bonus points to me for coming up with a list that’s 11 items long.

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