Make Sports Better: Part II

Author: Action Steve
Bio: Jets fan, part-time superhero, likes Roger Federer, dislikes talking quietly

  1. Allow fans to set parts of season schedules—most fans know key rivalries and season dates, so taking a popular consensus vote on certain matchups would help retain fan interest
  2. Adopt a merit/character-based salary formula—not only should athletes be paid for their skills, but also by setting a positive example in the community. Could be sabermetric in style or function
  3. More interactive intermission events—thank fans for coming to events by initiating higher participation/higher stakes giveaways and entertainment. Could be achieved by small increase in ticket prices, i.e. $1 opens up at least $20,000 worth of prizes per night. Not many fans would be turned away by that slight a raise and the entertainment value more than makes up for it
  4. No timeouts in the last 2 minutes of any sport—no one likes to sit through endless commercials as the last minute of a basketball game turns into 15. This is what athletes get paid to practice for; let them show the world how they can handle the pressure
  5. Engage teams in league-wide viral media competitions—fans love seeing the goofier side of athletes, and I’m sure the athletes wouldn’t mind donating winnings to charity either
  6. Have interleague exhibitions—not just the AL and the NL, but the AFL and the CFL, the NBA and the ABA, the MLB and the Nippon League, etc. Shouldn’t be reserved for only the World Baseball Classic and the Olympics. Helps promote a global/rivalry-accentuated fan base.
  7. Periodic full league resets—every 25/40/50 years, draft EVERYONE again, auction style, with a salary cap. The owners can stay the same. Contracts can be negotiated. If you ask for too much, you might not find a home right away.
  8. When the technology develops, nano-player cams—everyone wants to see from the eyes of the athletes themselves, and when the cameras become small enough and not obstructive, it’s a go.
  9. Kill Bud Selig—this would solve so many problems. These include, but are not restricted to: rich/poor team inequalities, steroids, All-Star games ending in ties, etc.
  10. Expel poor-performing teams—if you have a record below .400 for 5 years in a row, your city loses its team and a new one starts in a predetermined next-best location. Expansion draft (and embarrassment) then follows.
  11. Institute a rotating “wildcard”—a la NBA JAM. For example, in basketball, make a specific hotspot count for 6 points one week, then have all turnovers lose 2 points the next week, etc. Could be applied to all sports. Everyone loves an x-factor.
  12. Schedule some games/matches at crazy hours—but you can only do this a few times a year to make it stay a novelty. You draw the real crazy diehards, the young folks, and the weirdos. At least two of these groups purchase most of the merchandise anyway.
  13. Make athletes play some games with one leg, or one arm, or other physical qualifiers—similar to the past two examples, but the more restrictions on the athletes, the more people would watch. But don’t do this in excess either.
  14. Establish weight and/or height classes for all sports that want them—not only does this diversify the athlete base, but there is SO much merchandise potential. Give the best less and the worst more. Parity is great.
  15. Make athletes try out for their teams every year—contracts should have no-guarantee clauses. You have to fight for your money, not get hurt for 5 years and earn $50 million too.
  16. Reward team accomplishments during the season—best midway record, longest winning streak, best in certain statistics, etc. I think the apathy some professional athletes show would disappear instantly.
  17. Make performance enhancing leagues—I know it’s been said before, but for the non-purists out there, make steroids ok in their own leagues. Bizarre body types and insane stats to follow.
  18. Lower concession prices—I don’t care how much money the owners lose, I’m not spending 15 dollars on a popcorn and soda that won’t last me half the match. And I bet I’m not the only one.
  19. Have bargaining agreements determined by popular voting—it’s obviously no fun when people can’t enjoy their sports, and athletes can’t get 27 pairs of sneakers a day because they’re not getting paid enough. Have non-athletes communicate their feelings with players unions and make it so looming strikes never have to happen.
  20. Lie about bargaining agreements—wait, doesn’t that contradict the last one? When the NFLPA says that they’re not going to take it anymore, you believe them right? And you get all riled up and football’s popularity rises exponentially? Well aren’t you going to be more interested when they finally pull a deal together at the last minute? Any publicity is good publicity, even the falsest of the false.

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