October 21st, 2015. A red-letter day in the fictional town of Hill Valley, California. Not just because it’s the day that the Chicago Cubs finally vanquish their organization’s demons and win a World Series, but because it’s the day that Doc Emmitt Brown and his pal, Marty McFly, arrive in a Delorean time machine to save the future of the McFly family.

I predict it’s going to be a red-letter day in real-life everywhere, too. Here’s my bet: On October 21st, 2015, a remake/reboot of Back to the Future will hit movie screens.

This just makes an impossible amount of sense. It will have been 30 years at that point since the original arrived to delight the masses. We’ve seen that movies like Total Recall, Judge Dredd, and Tron are operating on roughly the same reboot cycle. The movie studios have to know that they’re sitting on a ridiculous amount of money, no matter how much they inevitably muck everything up. And most importantly, the BttF trilogy is prized for its nuanced hat tips and attention to details and in-jokes. Pegging the movie release as a callback reference to the original series is perfect fan service, and justification for the die-hards who adamantly fear the potential bastardization of what they know and love.

Let’s go a step further. After careful critical analysis, here are my best predictions for who will play the most important characters in the film.

The Time Machine

Doc: The way I see it, if you’re gonna build a time machine into a car, why not do it with some style?

Alas, the original Delorean is probably out. A 30-year old car definitely wouldn’t cut it, as much as the original movie is loved for the time machine’s inimitable swag.

If we’re incredibly unlucky, the rights to the time machine will be sold to the highest bidding advertiser. Just as we saw Will Smith improbably drive around a spotless, bright red Mustang in I Am Legend, there’s the non-zero likelihood that Dodge (or similar) ponies up a fistful of dollars big enough to win over the rights to the most iconic car in theater. And I mean, we know BttF’s history is riddled with product placements like Mattel’s hover skateboard. They’re not above this at all.

But let’s suppose we left it up to the whims of popular culture. So: What’s the most quirky, iconic car of the early 21^st century?

…Uh oh.

I don’t think that the movie studios, even with flair for things improbable and stupid, would even consider having Doc build a time machine out of a Toyota Prius. Besides: I don’t even think those things have the capacity to make it up to 88 MPH.

Luckily, there’s another option.

Cool, quirky, unreasonably expensive, iconic, and a scientist like Doc would probably love it. The next Back to the Future time machine will be made out of a Tesla Roadster.

Though it’s worth noting, by the way, that the Delorean Motor Company still exists. In fact, they’ve still got six retail outlets across the United States. In fact, the company is currently developing a new, all-electric version of the Delorean slated for commercial release in 2013.

So I suppose a modern flux capacitor-toting Delorean isn’t entirely out of the question.

Doc Brown

This one makes so much sense it’s ridiculous. No argument. Nothing even comes close.

Doc Brown’s next incarnation will be played by Bryan Cranston.

With the insane success of Breaking Bad, Cranston’s career and popularity are peaking at just the right time. Though he appears younger than his predecessor counterpart, Cranston (currently 56) is actually older now than Christopher Lloyd was (~47) when he filmed the original. We know from Breaking Bad that Cranston’s got the chops to be a scientist. So we know that he’s got the capacity to do something serious if the reboot is gritty—or alternatively, from his landmark role on Malcolm in the Middle, we know he can funny if the new BttF is campy again.

In fact, here’s the smoking gun: Christopher Lloyd actually plays his father in Malcolm in the Middle. Great Scott.

Marty McFly: The toughest call of the three. We’ll need someone relatively young; theoretically, Marty is a senior in High School, though Michael J. Fox was about 24 at the time of the original’s release. I guess I’m a little more out of touch with child stars than I was in my 90’s Nickelodeon heyday.

I considered Dylan/Cole Sprouse. The folks who I’m guessing read this blog will probably remember these guys best from their role in Adam Sandler’s Big Daddy. They later had a show on Nick called the Suite Life of Zack & Cody. So I guess they’ve got talent. I don’t know how much longer they’ll be able to pull off the twins acting thing. I think the Olsen Twins cut that crap out right around their high school years as well.

I also thought about Jaden Smith. Some studio exec would probably get a big kick out of having a black actor take the lead. And Jaden would be just about the right age. But at the same time, I don’t think he’s got the built-in draw that Michael J. Fox had because of his role in Family Ties.

So we want someone young. Who probably wants to make a leap to the next stage in their career. Someone who can draw a new, massive crowd to the theater. And if possible, someone with a stage presence, someone with the capacity to play something that “really cooks.”

Here goes:

Believe it.

(Bonus: Family Guy already nailed the song choice.)

(This post published a day earlier than my usual Monday thing. Reason should be inherently obvious.)