Top 11- Issue 5.3

By JoshPetersel in Eleven - Grills Gone Wild, Josh does Music 0 Comment

I thought it’d be an easy cop out of writing an original blog post this week fun to give you guys a sneak preview of my article that will appear in Eleven‘s next issue, which is set to drop this Wednesday, April 1st.  This is only the first half of the article – I’ll post up the second half a few days after the magazine is released.  I’d hate for you to not pick up the next issue on account of already reading the only article written by the only author worth his salt I’ve written.

Some notes:

  1. In exchange for copy/pasting most of my written material, I’ll at least do you the service of linking to each song’s YouTube video.  This, technically, should be a regular feature on Eleven’s actual website.  You’ve got as good a guess as I do as to the problem our webmaster seems to be having.  It’s been well over a year, Jacob.
  2. If you’re a student at Washington University, or if you’re a random dude reading this and you’re from the St. Louis area, definitely come check out Eleven’s Great Mixtape Exchange, set to go down on distribution day, Wednesday.  Details about it on our Facebook event page.

All right, enough nonsense.

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Top 11 Disney Songs

I was originally planning on writing a Top 11 about poop.  Then I thought about it:  I’ve nearly graduated. In like a month I’m going to be out in the real world, at a real job, and all that.  Maybe I could have gotten away with that Freshman year; by now I ought to be writing about things that are more mature.  On that note, for your reading and listening pleasure, here are my picks for the eleven best Disney songs.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TWzNJOfLVJ4]

11. Down to Earth, Wall-E – An incredibly peaceful and relaxing song that was the perfect finishing touch to a sublime movie.  The music in “Wall-E” was a huge part of what made the movie so good, and I don’t just say that because there wasn’t any dialogue for like the first 25 minutes.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcxYwwIL5zQ]

10. Zip-a-de-doo-dah, Song of the South – Didn’t even realize this was as Disney song until after I did some research.  It’s transcended the Disney stigma, which is rare enough to warrant its mention here.  Also, it’s great to whistle.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMU2NwaaXEA]

9. Theme Song, Duck Tales – I think I’ve been pretty consistent in making sure to include one theme song in each of my Top 11 columns.  I’d hate to disappoint my following.  The “Duck Tales” theme song is the cream of the Disney theme song crop.  Definitely wish my life more hurricanes, racecars, lasers, aeroplanes.  Wouldn’t mind Scrooge’s swimming pool of gold coins, either.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3xafme2PWA]

8. Why Should I Worry, Oliver and Company – If you’re like me (and you are), you won’t immediately recognize this song, or even name of this film.  I’ll fill you in:  A dog wearing sunglasses romps around New York City, makes a big mess of everyone else’s stuff, and basically says, “yep, I don’t give a damn and how do you like that?”  Plus, he wears sausage links for a neck tie.  Plus, he’s voiced by Billy Joel.  What’s not to love?

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejEVczA8PLU&]

7. Hakuna Matata, The Lion King – There’s definitely a running motif here of songs along the Bob Marley “don’t worry, be happy” train of thought.  Interesting thought #1: Google couldn’t confirm this, but I’m pretty sure I learned that warthogs and meerkats (the Timon animal) live in entirely different areas of Africa.  I wonder how Simba would have turned out had he only learned the “matata” half of the phrase.  Interesting thought #2: In retrospect, how uptight were we as a society in the ’90s that Disney couldn’t say “fart” in a G-rated movie?  Our vocabularies might have been soiled (hah!) forever.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOcyYyxqN_g]

6. I Wanna Be Like You, The Jungle Book – Here’s our other running theme: Parallels with Eleven. Readers, you want to be like me. You want to walk like me, talk like me, too. Pardon me while I stroke my ginormous ego.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LD8HDta7Z_4]

5. The whole movie, Fantasia – This whole movie was just one long song with a tripped-out theme, story, and characters. It also doubled as an instructional video for children on what happens when an LSD trip goes sour. This movie traumatized me as a child. Funny to think that about 50 years after it was made, Walt & Company wouldn’t even be able to get away with a little fart joke.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b-Z0SSyUcw]

4. Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious, Mary Poppins – I make up a lot of words. You better believe I’m jealous of how Supercalifragilisticexpailidocious has vaulted a fake word into the mainstream. And I’m esophagating [like salivating, but more in your throat] about being mean to my copy editors. As of this draft submission, I’ve intentionally spelled Supercalifragilisticexpiallidocious differently and incorrectly in all three uses. Thanks, Mary Poppins, and have fun, guys!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HwSKkKrUzUk]

3. Circle of Life, The Lion King – A fantastic song that really sets the tone for what I’d consider the masterpiece of all Disney movies. The song (and the movie, for that matter) is even better live on Broadway. But I think the best part about Circle of Life is that everyone who hears it has their own lyrical interpretation of Rafiki’s monologue in the opening seven seconds.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dB8UjOUHP04]

2. A Whole New World, Aladdin – Think of the magazine as your magic carpet, and the Eleven staff as your handsome and mysterious guide to a whole new world of music. Man, that sentence was about as cheesy as I could muster. I just did one of those half throw-up-in-your-mouth things. I hope you feel uncomfortable having read it. Just consider that at least you don’t have to listen to a topless and flamboyant Robin Williams running his mouth while you’re reading the mag.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sjAb-qYflE&feature=related]

1. Eye to Eye, A Goofy Movie – As per the movie: a down-on-his-luck high school outcast rocks out on stage in concert with his favorite artist, Powerline (think: a Disney version of Michael Jackson, but with more yellow tights and less artificial skin). Also, in doing so, he wins the heart of the really cute redhead, Roxanne. Yeah, Roxanne. (Why aren’t there more girls named Roxanne??) This is literally every hipster’s dream; Disney just somehow managed to visualize and animate it.

Grills Gone Wild: Party Like a Rockstar

By JoshPetersel in Eleven - Grills Gone Wild, Josh does Music 1 Comment

[Note: This column appeared in Eleven issue 2.3, releasing some time around November 2007.]

Your music scene immersion is almost complete. For all intents and purposes, you’re good to go out there and drop some platinum bombs. But where’s the fun in that? Heck, even Britney figured this one out: The real point of getting famous isn’t having tons of adoring fans, it’s having the ability to do whatever the hell you want, while said tons of adoring fans follow every minute of it. That’s how you party like a rock star.

 

Not surprisingly, your partying tendencies might be reasonably hard to break. We college students are, after all, awfully good at partying like college students. My best advice to you is to just get out there and practice, practice, practice. Because with practice comes perfection…and a really terrible GPA.

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Grills Gone Wild: Hair to the Throne

By JoshPetersel in Eleven - Grills Gone Wild, Josh does Music 0 Comment

[Note: This column appeared in Eleven Issue 1.3, releasing some time around February 2007.]

Hair is all around us. It’s on your head, your legs, and all the nooks and crannies in between. It can help keep you warm. It has homophones related to both royalty and furry wildlife. We use it in words such as chair and hairnet, and use it to describe some sticky situations. Your mom even had some! But here’s a little known fact about hair: You can use it to transform your band from a bunch of nameless wanna-bees into a posse of nameful superstars.
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Grills Gone Wild: One Song to Rule Them All

By JoshPetersel in Eleven - Grills Gone Wild, Josh does Music 0 Comment

[Note:  This article appeared in Eleven issue 2.1, released circa September 2007]

So you’ve theoretically got your band “Ultimate Electric Dungaroos” or “Dilated Pupils of Theocratic Stablemen” or whatever. And you all look real badass with your too-cool-for-school pants. That should be enough to at least get you a review in some half-wit university-subsidized student-run mostly-full-of-themselves music magazine. But how do you go about achieving the fabled 11 out of 11 score? With a song.

 

Songs are pretty important. They’re on the radio and on the internet. I’d put them in the top 5 most important parts of music. Where would music be today without songs? Probably on the radio and the internet, but I mean, still.

 

Let’s recap. We learned last year about three of the other important parts of music: your attitude (hipster), your look (hair), and your identity (band name). One of these days I’ll figure out what that 5th element is. Not that stupid Bruce Willis movie though.

 

…I guess all you freshman out there don’t really know the deal. You can all blame yourselves for not kicking and falcon punching your ways out of your parents wombs a year earlier. Now, on with the awesomeness.

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