Grills Gone Wild: Party Like a Rockstar

By JoshPetersel in Eleven - Grills Gone Wild, Josh does Music 1 Comment

[Note: This column appeared in Eleven issue 2.3, releasing some time around November 2007.]

Your music scene immersion is almost complete. For all intents and purposes, you’re good to go out there and drop some platinum bombs. But where’s the fun in that? Heck, even Britney figured this one out: The real point of getting famous isn’t having tons of adoring fans, it’s having the ability to do whatever the hell you want, while said tons of adoring fans follow every minute of it. That’s how you party like a rock star.

 

Not surprisingly, your partying tendencies might be reasonably hard to break. We college students are, after all, awfully good at partying like college students. My best advice to you is to just get out there and practice, practice, practice. Because with practice comes perfection…and a really terrible GPA.

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Grills Gone Wild: Hair to the Throne

By JoshPetersel in Eleven - Grills Gone Wild, Josh does Music 0 Comment

[Note: This column appeared in Eleven Issue 1.3, releasing some time around February 2007.]

Hair is all around us. It’s on your head, your legs, and all the nooks and crannies in between. It can help keep you warm. It has homophones related to both royalty and furry wildlife. We use it in words such as chair and hairnet, and use it to describe some sticky situations. Your mom even had some! But here’s a little known fact about hair: You can use it to transform your band from a bunch of nameless wanna-bees into a posse of nameful superstars.
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Grills Gone Wild: One Song to Rule Them All

By JoshPetersel in Eleven - Grills Gone Wild, Josh does Music 0 Comment

[Note:  This article appeared in Eleven issue 2.1, released circa September 2007]

So you’ve theoretically got your band “Ultimate Electric Dungaroos” or “Dilated Pupils of Theocratic Stablemen” or whatever. And you all look real badass with your too-cool-for-school pants. That should be enough to at least get you a review in some half-wit university-subsidized student-run mostly-full-of-themselves music magazine. But how do you go about achieving the fabled 11 out of 11 score? With a song.

 

Songs are pretty important. They’re on the radio and on the internet. I’d put them in the top 5 most important parts of music. Where would music be today without songs? Probably on the radio and the internet, but I mean, still.

 

Let’s recap. We learned last year about three of the other important parts of music: your attitude (hipster), your look (hair), and your identity (band name). One of these days I’ll figure out what that 5th element is. Not that stupid Bruce Willis movie though.

 

…I guess all you freshman out there don’t really know the deal. You can all blame yourselves for not kicking and falcon punching your ways out of your parents wombs a year earlier. Now, on with the awesomeness.

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