The Air Bud series is getting more and more ludicrous with each installment. What started as a dog who could at least remotely feasibly bounce a basketball off its nose to make free throws into a dog that has, among other things, won the MLB World Series and FIFA World Cup.
Some metrics that loosely helped guide discussion and rank: Does the sport typically necessitate the use of opposable thumbs? How funny is your mental image of a dog trying to do this? Can a cutesy movie title be concocted? Perhaps most importantly, how inappropriate is the notion that a dog would be better at this simply because it’s a dog?
It made for a few ridiculous bar conversations. In select cases, I managed to come up with the most likely title.
10) Air Bud: Bulldog’s Eye (Darts). Arose naturally, as the debate occurred in a bar.
9) Rowing/Crew.
8) Air Bud: WWooF (Wrestling) . Though those animal rights activists would probably be all up in arms over this. Edges out Boxing/MMA because I was actually able to come up with a cutesy movie title.
7) Air Bud: Pool Hall Poodle (Billiards)
6) NASCAR. Why so low? Because you have to think like a mentally incapacitated movie director and/or 3-year old. The mechanics of driving a race car are pretty complex—but from what little I’ve ever seen of NASCAR, the casual observer never actually has to see the driver operating the vehicle; you only ever really see his head poking out the window. Besides, I’ve already seen a vehicle successfully manned by a dog at speeds of up to 88 miles per hour; Hollywood can definitely make this concept happen.
5) Paintball. The other reason NASCAR was so low? I don’t think it requires the participant to have fingers.
4) Surfing. And now, we enter the zone of dogs riding increasingly silly things. I’d advise you to take exactly 15 seconds to ponder each of the following concepts. Any less, and the weight of the absurdity may be lost. Any more, and your head will surely a’splode.
3) Rock Climbing.
2) Air Bud: On HorseBark (Horseback Riding)
1) Air Bud: World Series of Pawker (Poker) . Because the prerequisite need of opposable thumbs, as well as an understanding of both mathematics and human psychology. But also because it’s a neat hat tip to that nifty painting.
Honorable Mentions: Jai-Alai, Polo, competitive eating (all not really mainstream enough)
Did I miss anything?